I know 'all good things come to those who love God (and wait patiently for Him)', and I do but currently I am having my faith tested.
Recently, dad has been experiencing excruitiating pain and gout attacks. I am aware purines only intensify them and I feel party to adding them into his fairly healthy diet. Purines are in the ice cream that he enjoys eating the most, and I feel I am enabling him (and I suppose you could say I am). This poses a huge ethical dilemma for me. Give him the ice cream, knowing full well it will cause a gout attack or have him suffer with the incurable back pain he has currently without 'assuaging' it with something deliterious to his conditions.
I am also overcoming a, for lack of better term, psychosis for spending money when I don't have any.
Selfishly, I feel I 'deserve' whatever I buy, but I have so many DVDs, books and CDs that I am running out of room on my bookshelves. I will probably just sell the DVDs I don't watch and the CDs that I no longer listen to. Dad is planning to sell a silver tray and teaset in order to pay off RIPEA to continue with his dental insurance. I didn't know it was this bad until this morning when he dropped this bomb on me. I still did well in my Pharma test, but I feel like I am wasting my time in school. I don't want to be a burden to dad, and I help him in so many other aspects. All around I am a good person, but buying objects helps me forget that I am single and at this point and time in my life I am beginning to lose hope in finding my match. Pickings are very slim where I come from and I am wondering if I will ever marry at all.
Beyond all this, I still carry optimism in knowing that circumstances will avail themselves. All will be well eventually and I trust in God. He has carried us and supported us thus far. He won't fail us this time.
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