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I know 'all good things come to those who love God (and wait patiently for Him)', and I do but currently I am having my faith tested.

Recently, dad has been experiencing excruitiating pain and gout attacks.  I am aware purines only intensify them and I feel party to adding them into his fairly healthy diet.   Purines are in the ice cream that he enjoys eating the most, and I feel I am enabling him (and I suppose you could say I am).  This poses a huge ethical dilemma for me.   Give him the ice cream, knowing full well it will cause a gout attack or have him suffer with the incurable back pain he has currently without 'assuaging' it with something deliterious to his conditions.

I am also overcoming a, for lack of better term, psychosis for spending money when I don't have any.

Selfishly, I feel I 'deserve' whatever I buy, but I have so many DVDs, books and CDs that I am running out of room on my bookshelves.  I will probably just sell the DVDs I don't watch and the CDs that I no longer listen to.  Dad is planning to sell a silver tray and teaset in order to pay off RIPEA to continue with his dental insurance.  I didn't know it was this bad until this morning when he dropped this bomb on me.  I still did well in my Pharma test, but I feel like I am wasting my time in school.  I don't want to be a burden to dad, and I help him in so many other aspects.   All around I am a good person, but buying objects helps me forget that I am single and at this point and time in my life I am beginning to lose hope in finding my match.   Pickings are very slim where I come from and I am wondering if I will ever marry at all.


Beyond all this, I still carry optimism in knowing that circumstances will avail themselves.  All will be well eventually and I trust in God.  He has carried us and supported us thus far.  He won't fail us this time.



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Tags: enabling, goods, of, optimism, pain, problems, selling, spending


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Comment by gibbin on October 19, 2011 at 4:25pm

it seems like a drag to wait on God, eh? BUT it is actually a very very very powerful tool! it kills the ego sometimes--- wait on God--- wait and wait some more---then wait again--- BUT --- it freaks the devil oput--- it kills the fleshy "rushing around"--- it is actually a VERY agressive prayer stance!

and it shows trust in the savior who will not let you down---

a spouse is great i suppose... but YOU should be concerned with what you can do until God brings you the right one--- being the right gal is hard work--- let Jesus KILL you---all your doubts and fleshy "rewards"---it HURTS!

enabling dad--- hmmm---would yoghurt hurt the gout? the back pain versus the gout--- gout is supposed to be excruciating---

you are not single--- you are married to Jesus!

fall madly in loive with HIM and then He will lket the right fella come in  to your life, slim pickins or not! we dont ever know what God has around the corner and i have fouind that second guessing God by counting what i saw as the ONLY resources available to be a waste of my time and an insult to the Most High!!!!

there are few available men where you are? that does not mean that the Lord cant send one tomorrow! would you want one to marry you before you got your spending under control?

sure--- but how about "rewarding" yourself by sending the price of a DVD to a mission in india  or something--- uses every penny n the mission field=---- i dont know how they pay their admin....

treasure in heaven is way cooler than even the limited eddition boxed set of the best tv show ---especially since we are seeling off the blu rays at the pawn shop--- and there are fgolks in asia who have never heard the name of Jesus!

i say this to all of us, not just you, and i think that you should buget for a treat for you and dad evey week! but also a sewing into the mission field--- we are rich here! i am currently still homewless and i am rich! i will eat today---and likely tomorrow---and i am rich in heaven!!!!!!!!!

ask Jesus to help you fall in ;love with Him--- pray thru those psalms!

be of good cheer,sister---- in 100 years we will be in heaven----and in 100000 years we will be in heaven....and etc..... sing praises to the one who spoke it all into being--- the devil freaks out when poor folks praise the Lord!

pharm is a good career! keep at it, or ask Jesuyss if that is whewre HE wants you!

LOVE!!!!!in Christ!!!!!!

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