Still waiting...??

I remember when I was in the 9th grade in high school I “fell in love” with one of my classmates. As if it weren’t tough enough that she wouldn’t give me the light of day (because I was always gawking at her) when I found out she was Christian I went bananas. Lol.

I was a walking concoction of  testosterone and  hormones gone wrong. I remember that every night for about a year I would pray “GOD please make her my girlfriend I really like her” something along those lines.  To be honest I knew I had no chance in  hell with her. But still I prayed. Finally after a year I changed my prayer to “ god if its your will that she be my girlfriend, in your time let it be” .

So I continued to pray until I just stopped. I’m twenty-four now, we are still very good friends, and I love her now even more than before. Now she has had boyfriends here and there. They have hurt her. Cheated on her, still I remain a faithful friend. Though my heart beats inside of my chest  raging in anger and pain to see her get hurt.  I understand that this is a consequence of her not being a GODly woman. I don’t push my self on anyone even though she know how I feel. Knowing that I would succeed I don’t pressure her even when she is vulnerable. She knows that I will always be there for her.

I have been waiting and still I must. Not for her but for the woman who I will spend the rest of my life with. The Bible says “ god makes all thing beautiful in his time“ .  Usually its to prepare us. The truth is we arnt ever ready; not for life, not for relationships; not for parenting, but the truth is that we can wait on GOD. We can confide in his providence and that he know what he does.

A wise person said  “ the opposite of loneliness, its not togetherness , it is intimacy." - Richard Bach 1989

Well I don’t know… but I think that its is / should be with GOD.
True love is not determined by who you sleep with or who holds your hand when you walk down the street but who you are intimate with.

I’ve had many passionate nights lol. tmi. Many have held my hand, and sheared my bed. Still love was not there, because GOD wasn’t there.

In Ecclesiastes Ch2  the author writes I’ve had many pleasures but at the end of it theirs nothing. He even goes to say he hated his life.

Sometimes all we want is a touch , someone to our hand, maybe just someone to talk to, and all those feelings and emotions are valid they are real. But so is GOD and his love. His love that he has showen in such a way that not even John the baptizer could explain when he said “for GOD so  loved the world…”
The love that we can find in JESUS, can cover multitudes of sin. Let us discover first love in CHRIST. If we can love him we can learn to wait on him.

Something I know is that GOD moves and when he moves the earth ripples. I know with out a shout of a doubt that he has something planed for us and its something big. Because that how he is BIG.

<>< look I made a Jesus fish.