Relationships???
I have a question about relationships, particularly the relationships that include teenagers and adolescents. I mean nowadays it seems that everyone has to have a boyfriend or girlfriend just to feel some self worth about themselves, I especially see this with the girls.
Usually they tend to give up their other priorities just to be with their boyfriends/girlfriends. They stop talking friends, family and usually skip their homework just to text their boyfriends/girlfriends for hours on end. I see it on Facebook where they're constantly updating their "relationship" with their "soul mates". I understand that they love each other but I don't see the point in being THAT obsessive and clingy. I even see it on Faith Freaks (which btw is a social Christian network for teens/young adults) and they're obsessed like that too. Isn't it a some kind of sin to love your spouse more than God? Shouldn't it count as some kind of idolatry? Anyway, and then they get all over dramatic when their boy/girlfriend break up with them and start talking a lot of bad stuff about their ex like they're the worst person on Earth then when they decide to get back together then they get back to the "good ol' days" like nothing ever happen. I find that to be very annoying.
I'm not saying that I haven't ever been like this. I have and I stopped by not dating anyone anymore. For me it's just added stress and unwanted heartbreak. On top of that, my friends want me start dating again thinking I should already be over the other relationship I had. I have gotten over my past relationships, I just chose not to date anymore. Though they keep pressuring my too and it's kinda annoying me now.
The question I'm trying the bring across is...
Do you really have to have an other person complete you and make you feel worthy?
If not, what do we have to do in order to have self worth about ourselves without the need of having a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Valerie L. Harvey on -
I agree with you...you don't have to have boy/girlfriend to have meaning in your life. A person should be able to stand on their own, with Jesus' help, without a boy/girlfriend. Besides, the love-of-your-life can't fulfill all your needs. Only Jesus can do that.
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Permalink Reply by John M. Edwards Jr. on -
Hi,
If you are content without being involved in a relationship, their is nothing wrong with that. Some people only know about Jesus Christ without having a relationship with him. They do not understand the contentment he brings to your life. You might find it even easier to focus on your goals in life without being involved in a relationship. Don't yield to peer pressure. Do what you know is best for you. There is no reason to be in a hurry to have a companion. As you pursue your other interests and goals in life, chances are you will find the person that is compatible with you, that share the same values you have. The main thing is to continue to trust the Lord. Another thing a lot of people don't seem to understand is that you can have a friend of the opposite gender without it having to be a boyfriend, girlfriend type of relationship. People often make the mistake of jumping into a relationship with a person without first seeing if the person would be a good friend. A friendship that turns into a relationship won't end if the relationship does not work out. I suggest to be open to positive friendships. You can always let a person know that you are not currently interested in a relationship. Some people do not understand when they see you walking and see no one else that you are not actually walking alone.
Stay strong and confident
God bless you
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Permalink Reply by Malinda Winkle on -
Hi, Jenna!
These are good questions. Many people feel they need another person to complete themselves. Some of this is sexually driven and some is just a feeling of being incomplete. What a person really needs when they feel this way is a closer walk with God, who will bring the right person into their life in His perfect timing if you trust Him to do that. This feeling is a result of having a big GOD VOID in your life--not a man void.
If you focus on centering yourself and your life on God rather than on people, you will more likely walk the path God intends for you. When the right person does come along, you will have developed the intimate relationship with God that will help you forge a successful relationship with a man.
I know that getting closer to God doesn't sound like near as much fun as getting close with a man. Certainly I get that. But, you will have to trust me when I tell you it is essential that you do this in the right order.
To prop up your self esteem (something that is very important following bad relationships) focus on how you look through God's eyes, how and why He loves you. You are so special in God's eyes. Keep your eyes on God, and strive to be His woman first. Remember, God loves every single thing about you. He overlooks our weaknesses and has a special plan for our lives that includes teaching us important life lessons through our experiences. Go with God. Trust that His plan is best for you. You will be amazed at the peace that envelopes your life if you let go and let God rule.
And, yes, it is a sin to love anyone or anything more than you love God. You elevate a person or thing to God status in your life, and everything is out of kilter. Keep God on top and let God introduce you to the people He wants you to meet, greet and learn about/from. He will walk you through an awesome adventure you dreamed possible, sweetie.
Does that make sense?
Malinda
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Permalink Reply by nichola gibson(God's girl) on -
hello,an absolute breath of fresh air reading what you have put,i am a mum with 3 teenage girls,and only one of them believes she is worth more than what is in front of her, she feels she is and has alot of worth,and a huge amount to give,my two other girls dont feel this way however,it doesnt matter how many times they are told how wonderful,smart and the things i know they are capable of,..........the boyfriend quite often has an opinion,not just the boyfriends,but people in general,school friends,its heartbreaking to watch,just pray they find clarity that you seem to have found
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