Walking Out of Addiction's Den

I was an alcoholic, and serious drug user, and dealer many years ago, over 20 years ago. I did more using than dealing. I got clean and sober, by the grace of God. I had been so for 5 years, in this story I'm about to tell you. For that time I had been sober, I had never gone back to downtown L.A., because I use to live there. On the streets and just about everywhere and anywhere I could find. Even in boxes. But now, in this story, I was doing well, my parole agent came to my apartment and told me that I was living better than he was, and I was clean, living in a good neighborhood outside of the parole office's district (with permission, of course. They'd have to switch reporting offices, that's if you get permission to move outside of the original reporting office's district zone. Another hassle. I had permission, but didn't have to switch offices). Well, one day, after being clean for over 5 years, I had to go downtown to fill out some domestic paperwork, for public transportation, this was before I bought my very first car, legally. I knew the area, the bowels of hell as far as I was concerned. The address given to me, meant that I would have to walk through everything I wished to have to never to go through again, and things I wished never existed in my life. This address was in the damnedest place, right in the middle of the block of two major streets, so, it was a "pick your poison route". I prayed so hard the night before going, "Please God, protect me". I knew that I had to "reactivate" that part of my brain that I had to use to survive when I lived down there, in order for me to get in and out safely, and drug free. I had to have, and hide emergency money, I felt, the preparation...everything was driving me nuts. I truly, really didn't even know if that part of my brain still worked. It did. With the Lord's help, it got me in and out of there safe, and drug free. I was filled with so much anxiety though, on the way back (and victory, thank God!), that I said, the very first stop...the very first stop that I think is safe, I got to get off this bus, and walk. I got off at the first, safe, available stop, far from the downtown area, because, going home alone with what was in my head, ("I can get drugs anywhere, It will be o.k., no one will ever know, I can do it just this once") would have been a mistake. In my circles, it's called "stinkin' thinkin' ". So, I get off the bus at the corner of an "Olive Garden" restaurant, on the border of L.A. and Glendale, CA. I eat. I had to start filling the physical void in my body, that my head (and Satan) could use against me. (To try to get me to go back and use). Then, as I left the restaurant, I started talking with God. I said, "I could have lost everything". "Why did you think that?" He asked. I answered, "Because, I could have gotten lost, I've lost myself down there with just $20 in my pocket, going on a "run" for weeks, and a month or more". (I am taking breaks to wipe my tears, while I am typing this story to you) I just realized something! I just had an epiphany! Just now! He asked me, "Do you have $20 dollars?" I answered "Yes". That's my epiphany! I love saying "YES" to the Lord! He knew how much money I had! He made me say, "yes" to Him. Oh dear Lord! "Yes!" (I am so crying right now!) Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes Lord! Yes! He said, "Go spend the $20 dollars". I didn't know where I would spend it. But, there are are certain things I must do when I am being obedient to Him. The first is, "move in the right direction." Standing on the corner of the Olive Garden, I had to plant my feet in the direction away from L.A., the direction of home. I could have walked all the way home from there in about an hour's time. The bus, this far out, from LA, comes every 40 minutes instead of 20 or 15. And, as I started to walk, across the street, just over the embankment, a "Best Buy", and "Toys R Us" began coming into view with every step that I took. I knew they were there, but were just out-of-the-way enough, for me to have never stopped there while taking public transportation. But, this day, I walked over there. I walked into...I walked into the "Best Buy", first. I didn't see anything interesting for the Lord's $20 dollars. Then I walked into the "Toys R Us" store. (I felt a little embarrassed, being a grown man in the Toys R Us). I found myself, lost, (anti-type to being lost in L.A.) and wound up in the "action figure" section. (I'm beginning to cry again). I always wanted an "Optimus Prime", Transformer, the leader of the 'Autobots', the good guys, (we all know this by now, right?). And, there he was, a little one, on the rack, $19.99, with tax, just over $20 dollars. Well, when I got home, I took the toy out the package and read the instructions on how to "transform" it. And, by the time I had learn to do this, a few times, until I could do it without the instructions, my craving for drugs went away. I mean, gone! COMPLETELY! Today, I have 6 different Optimus Prime figures, and various other Transformer figures and other toys, I've collected over the past 20 years, including, stuffed animals and fairies. Many, about a third of the stuffed animals, were given to me by friends, after they've found out, or seen, that I collect them. (It's nothing that I brag about). But each action figure, (and various other toys) I bought on my own, with my own money, and each one represents, "Dealer, you lost! Satan! You're a BIG LOSER! I don't have to spend my money on drugs any more!" Almost every figure, represents a craving, KILLED. Why am I telling you this? I don't know. I guess, I'm sharing something about myself I don't tell many people, I think I needed to tell this. I think people may think, I just started collecting, but, there was a reason why I started, and even though I'm old enough to know that I don't owe anyone any explanation. I just wanted to let somebody know why, and what really happened. God happened, and it wasn't of an immature or impulsive nature that got me started collecting toys, stuffed animals, and fairies, (however, they do make me feel good). There is an explanation. But, we can keep that between us. Thank you for allowing me to share, Brother Levi

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Permalink Reply by Crista May on October 30, 2009 at 1:00pm

Brother MAN!!! I absoulately LOVE this testimony, amen LET THE REEDEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO!!! Bless you, your cry in the Lord bringing forth my joy and laughter! ...dont take that wrong, Im just tickled at how the Lord works. I too was once homeless and drug addicted on the streets of capitol hill denver co. Man that devil even stoll the shoes off my bleedin feet. I spent my school loan on a suicide mission and had 1/2 of it stolen...but you know what today I was at the store with my paycheck and I wondered could I afford this $5.oo dollar movie for my kids...I thought you know Im stapped but I want my kids to have this movie, I looked in my wallet and there was an extra 5 I forgot to calculate as I was shopping. So I got thier tortoise in the hare...lol. You know, all good things come from above. It feels so good to take that money God gave me and not sell to the devil for a fix! He is a thief and liar, but I am blessed today for my 5 dollar walmart movie for my kids.
Amen levi, God bless you
sister cristamay

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Permalink Reply by Levi Lane on October 30, 2009 at 3:26pm

Ha! I feel ya Sister Crista May! Yes, blessing are received when we do right by the Lord. He never lets His children go far without telling them so. Like that $5.00, huh? We, who follow Him take nothing for granted, and count all blessings towards Him. Amen! Yes, I was in my addiction in Denver in '89 up on the hill where the parks are in-between the streets. (On the median). Trying to hide my addiction from my then, Christian girlfriend, what a sad joke I was. Hey, we do have a wonderful church in Denver, I was a member then, and still a member now. Check it out, it's one of nicest, in all the ones I've been to across the country. Brother Levi

Crista May said:

Brother MAN!!! I absoulately LOVE this testimony, amen LET THE REEDEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO!!! Bless you, your cry in the Lord bringing forth my joy and laughter! ...dont take that wrong, Im just tickled at how the Lord works. I too was once homeless and drug addicted on the streets of capitol hill denver co. Man that devil even stoll the shoes off my bleedin feet. I spent my school loan on a suicide mission and had 1/2 of it stolen...but you know what today I was at the store with my paycheck and I wondered could I afford this $5.oo dollar movie for my kids...I thought you know Im stapped but I want my kids to have this movie, I looked in my wallet and there was an extra 5 I forgot to calculate as I was shopping. So I got thier tortoise in the hare...lol. You know, all good things come from above. It feels so good to take that money God gave me and not sell to the devil for a fix! He is a thief and liar, but I am blessed today for my 5 dollar walmart movie for my kids.
Amen levi, God bless you
sister cristamay

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Permalink Reply by christie on October 30, 2009 at 10:08pm

brother levi...wow! God IS On time EVERY Time! i understand exactly every detail of how you felt during this trial and test..as you wrote about the transformers..i seen transformation..prosperity..standing..pressing! Thank you for sharing bless you *

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Permalink Reply by Levi Lane on October 31, 2009 at 4:29am

Thank you so much Sister Christie. I have not seen this situation in this light, how wonderful and refreshing your insight is! I guess this is why He made us One Body, to share in the victory we all have, through Him. I am so happy to be able to rejoice in it, and to be able to share it with you. Brother Levi

christie sanchez said:

brother levi...wow! God IS On time EVERY Time! i understand exactly every detail of how you felt during this trial and test..as you wrote about the transformers..i seen transformation..prosperity..standing..pressing! Thank you for sharing bless you *

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Permalink Reply by Crista May on October 31, 2009 at 5:47am

That is so neat!

christie sanchez said:

brother levi...wow! God IS On time EVERY Time! i understand exactly every detail of how you felt during this trial and test..as you wrote about the transformers..i seen transformation..prosperity..standing..pressing! Thank you for sharing bless you *

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Permalink Reply by Debbie Hasty on October 31, 2009 at 9:16am

If you are at the cliff of your life and ready to jump this is when you have to trust God that he will catch you as you are falling or God will give you wings to fly. Levi God has done both for you and now you are as a soaring eagle that will never fall again as you put all your trust in Him, amen.
God bless you brother and thank you for sharing this as an encouragement to others. You are special and the apple of Gods eye.

Love ya brother,
Debbie

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Permalink Reply by Levi Lane on October 31, 2009 at 3:52pm

Thank you so much Sister Debbie.

Debbie Hasty said:

If you are at the cliff of your life and ready to jump this is when you have to trust God that he will catch you as you are falling or God will give you wings to fly. Levi God has done both for you and now you are as a soaring eagle that will never fall again as you put all your trust in Him, amen.
God bless you brother and thank you for sharing this as an encouragement to others. You are special and the apple of Gods eye.

Love ya brother,
Debbie

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Permalink Reply by Levi Lane on October 31, 2009 at 6:30pm

Thank you Brother Glauco. I'd love to play! I'd bring my Unicron and all the mini-cons that surround him...Transformers for days on end, lol! ~Hugs~ back'acha! Brother Levi

Glauco Schaffer said:

Everything is so beautiful when it comes from the heart. Even the painful things.
Thank you for sharing your life tribulations Levi. Some of us find kindness, love and security in that child in us.
Let's play!

Free Hugs!
Glauco