Are you a victim of Silent Treatment?
Hi,
somebody forwarded this to me today on Facebook, and it it soo true....
"Indifference is the opposite of love"
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The Silent Treatment - A Form of Abuse - By Bill Siemon -
I believe the silent treatment (feigned apathy; cold-shoulder; silence; distance, and ignoring you) is the worst form of emotional abuse. It is a punishment used by abusers to make you feel unimportant, not valued, not cared about and completely absent from the abuser's thoughts. It is used as a form of non-physical punishment and control because the abuser mistakenly thinks that if they don't physically harm you then they are not abusers. The truth is, they are far worse at doling out abuse than the physical abuser.
Silent treatment is a form of banishing someone from the abuser's existence without the benefit of closure or a good bye or a chance at reconciliation. In a word..it's meant to torture someone you profess to love. The silent treatment is something that the abuser repeats over and over again. The silent treatment is CONTROL, and a safe means for them to avoid any 'uncomfortable' topics, issues in the relationship, or issues within himself (or herself).
Abuse is abuse. And abuse is never ok. In one way though, the silent treatment is far worse than other forms of abuse, because it indirectly says to you that you are not a person, you are an object, you are invisible because they choose to make you so because you are not worthy of their time. THAT is one of the most hurtful and abusive things to do. It is a horrible feeling, being ignored and denied affection.
What can you do about this kind of abuse? Really the only recourse is prayer. Pray for your abuser's. This type of abuse can occur within relationships, work environments and even religious organization's and there is never an excuse for it. It is the opposite of love to act in such an unkind way.
somebody forwarded this to me today on Facebook, and it it soo true....
"Indifference is the opposite of love"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Silent Treatment - A Form of Abuse - By Bill Siemon -
I believe the silent treatment (feigned apathy; cold-shoulder; silence; distance, and ignoring you) is the worst form of emotional abuse. It is a punishment used by abusers to make you feel unimportant, not valued, not cared about and completely absent from the abuser's thoughts. It is used as a form of non-physical punishment and control because the abuser mistakenly thinks that if they don't physically harm you then they are not abusers. The truth is, they are far worse at doling out abuse than the physical abuser.
Silent treatment is a form of banishing someone from the abuser's existence without the benefit of closure or a good bye or a chance at reconciliation. In a word..it's meant to torture someone you profess to love. The silent treatment is something that the abuser repeats over and over again. The silent treatment is CONTROL, and a safe means for them to avoid any 'uncomfortable' topics, issues in the relationship, or issues within himself (or herself).
Abuse is abuse. And abuse is never ok. In one way though, the silent treatment is far worse than other forms of abuse, because it indirectly says to you that you are not a person, you are an object, you are invisible because they choose to make you so because you are not worthy of their time. THAT is one of the most hurtful and abusive things to do. It is a horrible feeling, being ignored and denied affection.
What can you do about this kind of abuse? Really the only recourse is prayer. Pray for your abuser's. This type of abuse can occur within relationships, work environments and even religious organization's and there is never an excuse for it. It is the opposite of love to act in such an unkind way.
Tags: Christians, abuse, church, ignorance, indifference, love, relationsship, silence
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by PROPHETESS CAROL on -
ASTRID
I DON'T BELIEVE THAT THERE IS HARDLY ANYONE ALIVE WHO HAS NEVER BEEN THE VICTIM OR THE GIVER OF THE SILENT TREATMENT OR THE COLD SHOULDER...MANY WILL TURN THE OTHER SHOULDER BEFORE THEY TURN THE OTHER CHEEK??? WE ARE WRONG TO TURN AWAY ANYONE WHO IS SEEKING LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING...I HAD A GENTLEMAN TO COME INTO MY PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT ON YESTERDAY WHO WAS HURTING...HE HAD BEEN TO IRAQ AND HAD SEEN ALL KINDS OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION AND HE IS NOW SUFFERING FROM POST TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME...THE PHYSICAL CONDITION OF THIS YOUNG MAN HURT ME SO BAD THAT I FOUGHT BACK THE TEARS UNTIL I GOT HOME...WHEN I FELL ON MY KNEES TO PRAY FOR HIM...THE HURT WAS SO DEEP THAT I WANTED TO SCREAM BUT I COULDN'T GET IT OUT SO ALL I COULD DO IS CRY...
IN SOME RESPECTS...THIS YOUNG MAN CARRIED HIMSELF AS IF HE WAS STILL IN A WAR ZONE...HE WAS VISIBLY SHAKEN INSOMUCH THAT HE ACCIDENTLY BROKE SOMETHING THAT BELONGED TO THE BUSINESS THAT I WORKED FOR ...MANY PEOPLE WOULD NOT HAVE SET AT THE SAME TABLE WITH HIM BUT WOULD HAVE LABELED HIM AS BEING CRAZY...AS HE BEGAN TO TELL ME SOME OF THE THINGS THAT HE HAD BEEN GOING THROUGH AND WAS GOING THROUGH...MY HEART MELTED WITHIN ME BECAUSE THIS YOUNG MAN HAD TRULY BEEN TRAUMATIZED...HE FELT AS IF NOONE UNDERSTOOD WHAT HE HAD BEEN THROUGH BUT LITTLE DID HE KNOW THAT I DID..WHILE HIS EXPERIENCES MAY HAVE BEEN MORE INTENSE AND SEVERE BECAUSE OF THE RELENTLESS ATTACKS OF THE ENEMY...I UNDERSTOOD HIS PAIN...I SAID ALL OF THAT TO SAY THIS... IF THIS YOUNG MAN WAS WORTH GODS TIME THEN HE WAS WORTH MY TIME BECAUSE WHEN JESUS WAS ON THE CROSS... I WAS ON HIS MIND SO WHO ARE WE TO TURN ANYONE AWAY??!!!!
MATTHEW 5:38-42
38] YOU HAVE HEARD THAT IT HATH BEEN SAID, AN EYE FOR AN EYE, AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH....
39] BUT I SAY UNTO YOU, THAT YE RESIST NOT EVIL; BUT WHOSOEVER SHALL SMITE THEE ON THE RIGHT CHEEK, TURN TO HIM THE OTHER ALSO...
40] AND IF ANY MAN SHALL SUE THEE AT THE LAW, AND TAKE AWAY THY COAT, LET HIM HAVE THY CLOAK ALSO....
41] AND WHOSOEVER SHALL COMPEL THEE TO GO A MILE, GO WITH HIM TWAIN...
42] GIVE TO HIM THAT ASKETH OF THEE, AND FROM HIM THAT WOULD BORROW OF THEE, TURN NOT THOU AWAY.
ALWAYS TRIUMPHANT IN JESUS
YOUR SISTER IN CHRIST
CAROL~A SONG OF PRAISE~
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Permalink Reply by Astrid on -
Yes, I know what you mean..this man is not only suffering from what is past and still present in his mind and heart, but also by the rejection of most others..
the scripture you mentioned is a good one - like all the rest of the bible - but might me used by abusers as a tool to tell the ones they abuse to keep quite and to suffer. But this is absolutely not the will of God for anybody of His children, neither man or woman.
But in this context to walk with those in needs in the most important aspect.
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